Sunday, December 2, 2012


"Life is like a spinning wheels. once u're on top, the potential for u to go down is high. And once u're at the bottom, the potential for u to go up is high again. It's vice versa"

Assalamualaikum wbt,,
that quotation I take from my previous entry which was about a year ago, entry about my SPM result if I'm not mistaken. Well currently I'm posting in English, why?

Because it was long time I've never use this second language on this blog. Forgive my grammatical error, never practicing it at all but at least I'm trying to make it as a habit, Insha Allah.

Talking about life we never know what will happen to us in future. Yes we may plan, but He will decide it for us. 

BUT! Please never bear in mind to have this kind of perception.

"I'm still young, just go with the flow, I'm just want freedom and be happy all the time."

But yet that's not what Allah will give to us. Happiness all the time, enjoy the life without seeking the wisdom of the creation.

Based on my own experience, I do have a lots story. Being in 'monkey-love-to-be', gossiping etc. Well it was quite fun but when I refresh my memory back to the pass, probably I'll say that was stupid me before. Allah is Great when planning our fate.


It was so embarrassing when I sat down and think about that, it is not truly love yet but it was going-to-be. It can be labelled as "teman tapi mesra" in Malay. Alhamdulillah since I was in CBM before I've my own principle "no couple before SPM". Thus the 'relation' turn out to be ''TTM''. I've never have a date in class, met  together without any accompany, Alhamdulillah He still love me :)

But everything turns out to be up side down. It is not because of the 'third person' or what so ever. It is because of my own feeling. Nearly to the biggest examination on final year SPM, my heart bounced.

'Betul ka apa yang aku buat ni? Lepas SPM terus ada 'relationship'.

Its not about getting marreid or engaged for Allah sake, its a 'relationship' between teenagers nowadays. I keep on thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking.
My heart was not like before, I feel like I just woke up from dream, becoming the old me. Day by day I've thinking about the pros and cons of being 'in a relationship' or the easy word- COUPLE!

Finally I've made up my mind, it was about the last day before we end our SPM, few days before Biology if I'm not mistaken, Ive made up my mind, after the last paper, I'm gonna have 'big conversation' to end what I've start.

Yeah it my fault too. 'Hand will not clap without the other one' (lol :P)

I text him a message that night, saying that I'm not in the mood of chatting, just advising him to focus on last paper. I don't want to ruin the exam mood so I just said that everything was okay.


Apparently after SPM we're having backpacking to my friends house at Chemor. One night I start to have a 'press conference' via SMS, explaining about everything. I kept on apologize because I know it was me who start it first. If time can be turn back..

Yes I am a criminal.

Breaking people's heart. Putting on hope. Bla bla bla but I don't' want to mess up more. I don't think it can be work out good, I feel that I'm cheating myself, my parents. Plus we never know what will happen soon. Before it turn to be serious, I better stop it.


Day passed, a few months later everything went okay. To be honest I never contact him for quite a long time. I don't want to make the situation harder and Alhamdulillah He answers my du'a :) 

As I turn to be one of the UIA-ers my friend choose to further his studies in matriculation. The SPM result for my was just- Alhamdulillah though it was not straight A's, but I felt a bit guilty for his result. But He know BEST! Being in CENFOS has taught me a lot about the

My friend turn to be one of the top students in matriculation, if I'm not mistaken he got 4 Flat for his final! Congratulations, now furthering his study in Engineering in one of the most top University in Malaysia, I'm proud to hear that.


My point is not the 'success' that we both gain now but I would like to say that please don't get involve such a waste thing. As we know in Islam there's no such a law for couple of 'Islamic couple'. Forget about all 'lagha' that can drag you to sins. 

'Do not draw near to fornication, for it is an indecency, and its way is evil' (al- Isra' : 32)

Yes we're not practicing fornication but we are on the track of being near to it, na'uzubillahi minn zalik.

Experience is the best teacher.

I love writing, hoping that what I've write will make me nearer to Allah.

I ain't perfect yet trying my best to be the best, Isha Allah.

Lets pray Allah will give us 'husnul khatimah'- the good ending of life.

STOP finding for your love illegally but never stop to seek HIS LOVE.



  1. ehemm ehemmm.:p :) *saja nak bagi smiley*

  2. nak ubat sakit tekak? hahaha

    old storyy


apa kau rasa? oren?

a big thank you for ur comment, May Allah bless :)